Incognito - chapters 13-15
To what lengths will you go when you are desperate for a job?
Incognito
by Jon Marcus
A note about the dialog
I always go numb when I read dialog that’s written “Dave said…,” and then “Janet replied….” and then “Steve exclaimed...” Alternatively, some authors don’t even say who is talking and you have to deduce it, which is impossible when there are more than two characters in a scene. So although it’s not common practice, I think the best way to present dialog is similar to how it’s done in a script. Plus it gets right to it. I don’t need someone to tell me that Janet replied. If you are used to the other formats, yes, they are more commonly done, but this is better and I know you will become more comfortable with it.
Copyright © 2024, 2025, 2026 by Jon Marcus
The following is a work of fiction. Any names, characters, place and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance of persons living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, scanned or transmitted in any form, including but not limited to digital or printed, without the written permission of the author.
Available for purchase on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DS2V41K4
CHAPTER 13
THE PHONE INTERVIEW
Norman goes to a coffee shop, sits down and researches the company he has the upcoming interview with. He takes his time finding out what they do, their products, their technologies, who runs the company, their backgrounds, if they worked together before, and any articles about the company including product news and venture capital financing news.
After a few hours, Norman feels like he needs to clear his brain. He heads home, sits on the couch and watches a movie and falls asleep on the couch.
The next morning he wakes up and goes for a walk. In San Francisco, a walk is lots of exercise thanks to the hills. Norm knows a set of stairs a few blocks away on Lyon Street, that go up and down some very long and steep blocks. The stairs have a great view and many people go there to exercise. Norm often goes there and walks up and down the stairs.
After an hour he has had enough and he walks back home, eats breakfast and takes a shower. Then he does a little more research on the company as his phone interview is later that day.
Later, Norman is lifting weights in his room to loud music. Afterwards he turns off the music, goes to the kitchen and grabs an apple from the fridge. Phil is there.
Norman: Phil, I am pumped for this phone interview. I have read up on this company and I am going to nail this thing.
Phil: Excellent. Go get ‘em.
Norman looks at a clock. Its 1:30 pm.
Meanwhile, in the company offices:
Pete: OK, Heather. You have your questions ready?
Heather: Yes.
Pete: Now this guy has a lot of experience, but he’s a little old so we aren’t going to hire him so don’t be nervous. It’s just practice. I’ll be here.
Heather: Old. Isn’t that age discrimination?
Pete gives her the evil eye.
Pete: It’s what we look for. Everyone does it. Just call him. If he sounds ok, we can even invite him in for an in-person interview and you can get a practice round for that too.
Heather: OK.
She dials the number. Norman picks up.
Norman: This is Norman.
Heather: Hi Norman. This is Heather calling to talk about the job here. Is this still a good time to talk?
Norman: Yes it is Heather. Let’s talk.
Heather: All right. You sound rarin’ to go.
Norman: It’s a great day to be alive.
Heather: First, I’ll tell you about what we do and then we can talk about your background.
Norman: Sounds good.
Pete points to a page in front of her that she then reads from.
Heather: We are an aerospace startup. We are developing software for satellites. We got our start a few years ago when our founder left NASA to start his own company. So far we have raised 75 million dollars in venture capital and we are expanding. So I see you are a database engineer. And, Oh, you have a Masters degree from Stanford.
Norman recognized that “Oh” meant she was surprised at the Masters degree so she hadn’t read his resume. That means either she is not good at her job or she showed her hand that she doesn’t intend on hiring him. He sees he’ll have to play along and see what happens.
Norman: Yes. In fact I worked on some data transmission devices that were used for telecom data towers which I think would lend itself well to what you folks are doing there.
Heather’s boss is watching and pointing to questions.
Heather: Great. Tell me about a time you were proud of an accomplishment at work.
We hear Norman’s internal dialog:
“Proud of an accomplishment? Standard behavioral question. She is young and new at this. An older person wouldn’t ask such a general bullshit question. So if she wants to bullshit me, I will bullshit her back.”
Norman: To be honest, I take great pride in my work and I make sure every day is an accomplishment. In my last company...
In the theme of bullshit, Norman gives a lengthy reply to this question. Heather isn’t even listening. She is paying attention to hand signals that her boss is giving about what to do next. When Norman stops talking, there is a pause until Heather realizes he stopped talking. Then she asks her next question.
Heather: Tell me about a time when you disagreed with your boss. And what happened?
Norman: Disagree with my boss? Actually I was fortunate to have some really great managers...
Norman gives a lengthy praise of his former managers and relays a random example of a slight disagreement he and the rest of the engineering staff debated on a subject and then resolved to everyone’s satisfaction.
Heather: Describe a situation where you and a coworker were in conflict.
Norman’s internal dialog: “Geeze, this is grueling. These people are hard core on the behavioral stuff.”
Norman: OK. Well people disagree all the time. One time though...
Norman looks at the clock and its 2:10 pm. Heather has been asking him these tough questions for almost 45 minutes. Norman is worn out.
Heather: Well, this was very educational.
Pete points to words on a page that say “Invite him in for an interview?” The boss gives her a thumbs up.
Heather: Can you come in and meet a few people for an interview?
Norman: Absolutely!
Heather: Great. I’ll email you some scheduling options. Thank you for your time. Have a nice day.
Norman: Thanks. You too.
They all hang up.
Pete: That was good. These questions are made to be tough and I’ve literally seen mature grown ups sweat and even cry when being hit with lots of them and overwhelmed in an interview.
Back at Norman’s apartment. Norman’s door is open and he is slouched in his chair looking tired. Phil walks over and stands in the doorway.
Phil: Are you sweating?
Norman is in fact sweating. He looks at Phil like he just ran a marathon. He nods his head yes.
Norman: That was the most brutal interview I’ve ever had. It’s like they wanted to break me.
Afterwards, Norman goes into the kitchen and makes a sandwich.
Norman: I am going to get this job.
Phil: That’s the attitude!
Norman: Oh it’s not attitude. I am going to make them hire me.
Phil: How can you make them hire you?
Norman: They want to play hardball with me. Well fuck them. I will play hardball back.
Phil: What are you talking about? What are you going to do?
Norman: I am going to that in-person interview in a dress!
Phil: What?
Norman: Yup, I need a dress. Want to go with me to a dress store?
Phil: Are you kidding me?
Norman: I’m serious. Let’s go.
Phil: I thought you were trying to get this job.
Norman: I am.
Phil: Then what’s with the dress?
Norman: It’s for protection.
Phil: Dude, I’m getting close to calling the psych ward. What is going on?
Norman: There are discrimination laws that I can tell these HR people don’t care about. They find sneaky ways to get around the age stuff but they wont be able to get around the gender stuff.
Phil: Oh man. Norman, are you really thinking about wearing a dress to a job interview?
Norman: Yeah. When they see the dress, they will forget wondering about my age.
Phil: I think the stress from being unemployed is getting to you.
Norman: I think I’m thinking more clearly than ever before. So are you going to help me pick out a dress?
Phil: Not in a million years.
— Desperation / The Best Defense is a Good Offense —
CHAPTER 14
NORMAN’S FIRST DRESS
Norman goes to a small dress store he’s seen in Noe Valley a few times. It’s off hours and no one is there besides the employee.
Eve: Can I help you?Norman: Yes, I need a dress.
Eve: You do?
Norman: Yes, well, its a birthday present for my sister.
Eve: Oh. What kind of dress?
Norman: I don’t know, Something I could… she could wear to an interview.
Eve: We have these business suits. Or maybe even a nice sundress. What kind of company?
Norman: Its a tech company.
Eve: Oh, you can wear anything to them. But everyone there dresses casually. So let’s go with a sundress.
Norman suddenly sees that women have so many choices in clothing while men’s choices are only what color of shirts or pants to wear.
Norman: Yes. A sundress. Women have so many more clothing options than men.
Eve: That’s true. Do you like this?
Norman: It’s very nice.
Eve: Or how about this?
Norman: I like that one too.
Eve: What size is she?
Norman: She’s about my size. We are fraternal twins.
Eve: Oh.
Norman: Any chance I could try them on?
Eve: You want to try them on?
Norman: Sure. It’s San Francisco. Why not?
Yeah, it’s an Francisco but it’s still an unusual request. Eve is starting to feel a bit worried about being alone in the store with Norman but her instincts say he isn’t insane. She realizes he isn’t there for a sister. As long as she’s pleasant, it should be fine.
Eve: Well, no one else is in the store. OK. The dressing rooms are back there.
Norman: Thanks.
Eve: Do you want to buy a slip or anything?
Norman: No Thanks. Unless you think I should.
Eve: I guess this is new for you. With back lighting, people can sometimes see though the dress. But, men don’t seem to care as much about concealing, uh, well I’m sure it’s no big deal. Well, I didn’t mean big. Don’t worry about the slip.
Norman tries a few dresses on and upon asking, Eve gives her opinion. He picks a few out, pays for them and goes home.
On the bus, he is noticing what women are wearing, more than he ever noticed. When he gets home, he puts on a dress and walks over to Phil’s room. Their dog sees Norman and looks confused.
Norman: What do you think?
Phil: You are really doing this?
Norman: Yeah man. Hey, I haven’t had an in-person interview in a long time. This could be the last one I ever have.
Phil: You got that right.
Norman: It has to be done. I basically don’t have a choice.
Phil: Your only choice is to wear a dress?
Norman: Yes. I already explained it to you. Ya know, I should take it for a test run.
Phil: What do you mean?
Norman: I want to be comfortable in the interview and if I’ve never worn this in public, who knows what will happen.
Phil: Yeah, who knows.
Norman: I’ll take Pavlov for a walk. Here Pavlov!
Pavlov comes out from the back room, looks at Norman and runs away.
Phil: No 3 minute walks. If you take him, it has to be for at least 20 minutes.
Norman: OK.
Norman chases after Pavlov. In the process, he catches the dress on a doorknob and also trips on the dress. Then he catches Pavlov, puts the leash on him and tries to take him for a walk, but Pavlov is resisting, digging his heels in. Eventually he drags Pavlov out the front door into the building lobby and Pavlov loosens up. As he is about to walk out the building front door, the beautiful runner runs by his building.
Norman: Oh, thank god she didn’t notice me.
He waits a minute, opens the door and carefully looks around to see if she is close by. He doesn’t see her. Generally, he only sees her once each time so he feels he is safe. He walks out the door with Pavlov and walks down the street in the opposite direction she was going. A few neighbors that see him give him weird looks. One holds in a chuckle when he passes Norman. At one point, Pavlov poops and Norman has to lean over and pick up the poop with a plastic bag. He looks awkward doing this in a dress especially since his legs were spread open. Norman doesn’t want to risk encountering the beautiful runner so he goes home soon. He feels relieved when he’s safe inside the building and safer in his apartment.
Phil: How was the test run?
Norman: Interesting. You know, San Franciscans aren’t as open minded as they claim to be.
Phil: Oh?
Norman: Well, I guess they left me alone and that’s the best I could ask for. But I’ll be honest, I’m not looking forward to taking the bus to the interview.
Phil: Dude, the bus is not going to be the problem.
Norman: What do you mean?
Phil: San Francisco is a small town. You could run into people you know. Also, if you get the job and wear normal clothes when not at work, you could run into co-workers who might think you are scamming the company. More importantly, some people in this world are crazy and when you are wearing the dress, maybe you should carry pepper mace in your purse.
Norman: Purse. Oh right. This thing doesn’t have pockets. Geeze. Dressing like a woman is complicated.
Norman puts on his regular clothes and goes to a store to buy a purse.
At the store, he goes up to someone who works there.
Norman: Hi. Do you have a nice purse that would go with a cheery sundress?
CHAPTER 15
NORMAN’S FRIENDS
Norman’s friends, from dinner the other night, meet to discuss what they might do for Norman. The doorbell rings and Greg opens the door.
Greg: Hi Lois, Jim. (He hugs them both). Glad you could make it. Stan and Patricia just got here.
Lois: Good to see you.
Jim: Thanks for organizing this.
Greg: Thank Fanny. It was her idea.
Lois: Hi everyone.
Fanny: Hi guys, come on in. Can I get you anything to drink?
Jim: No, I’m good.
Lois: You are having wine; I’ll have wine.
Patricia: Hi. Nice to see you both.
Lois: You too.
Stan: OK, the subject of the night; what’s everyone thinking about Norman’s situation? What can we do?
Fanny: I don’t know. The poor guy. He’s trying so hard to find something.
Jim: I keep thinking of people I can call on his behalf but I don’t work with engineers.
Patricia: Who says it has to be engineers?
Jim: Well, Norman’s an engineer.
Lois: I think what Patricia means honey, is maybe we know people who work at tech companies in any department but who might be able to help Norman. You know like in sales or HR, but they can refer him to their engineering people. Do we know any HR people?
Greg: Not me. I try to avoid HR people.
All: Yeah, right, me too.
Jim: I work in health insurance so there isn’t a lot of crossover there. I’m not networked with those people.
Greg: I try to avoid health insurance people too. Talk about a sleazy industry. (Greg gets a mean look from Jim) No offense.
Jim: No, of course not. Actually... you’re right.
Stan: Fanny, you work in solar. That’s kind of tech. Do you know anyone?
Fanny: Well, I work with a solar panel installer. So we are more in the construction field. But I can ask the owner and some people there. Maybe they have a contact.
Lois: How about you Stan?
Stan: Non-profit. Not really my thing. You know though, one of my co- workers was talking about her brother who is a systems administrator. Maybe he knows someone. I’ll ask her.
Jim: How about you Greg?
Greg: I’ve been thinking. No one comes to mind yet.
Lois: And I work at a small company. I would say he could apply for something but we aren’t hiring.
Patricia: Yes, but what about outside your company.
Lois: I don’t know anyone who is hiring.
Fanny: Of course you don’t. Its not like our friends call us any time a job opens up in their company. But there’s always hiring going on. I guess the thing is to just help him meet other people and maybe one of them might know of something.
Stan: You never know.
Fanny: Right. Just keep the conversations going. Eventually something might happen. It’s really easy to pick up the phone and ask a few people you know if they know of anything
Jim: Yes. Actually, now that I look at it that way, there are a few people I could see if they are open to an introduction. A guy at work who is in marketing, I think his prior job was in tech, and a few people from my last two jobs.
Fanny: Oh, that is just great.
Greg: Hey, I’ve got a few tickets to the Giants game next week. Anyone want to go?
Stan: Ooo yeah. I’ll go.
Jim: Me too.
Lois: I’m really worried about Norman. I just hope he doesn’t do anything stupid.
Back at Norman’s place, he is putting on a dress and checking himself out in the mirror. Phil is in his own room with the door open.
Norman: I am really looking forward to this tomorrow.
Phil: If they only knew what was headed their way.
Norman looks at himself in the mirror and adjusts the dress to see if it look better in certain ways. He doesn’t know. He goes back and forth but he’s never done this before and hasn’t a clue what he’s looking for. He gives up and goes to the kitchen Now Phil is there. He looks at Norman and almost laughs.
Norman: What do I wear under the dress? Just underwear?
Phil: Are you going looking like that?
Norman: What?
Phil: I assume you are going to shave tomorrow. And, you’ve got chest hair showing.
Norman: Yeah man. I’m not trying to look like a woman. The idea is to freak them out and scare them into hiring me.
Phil: But you look like a slob.
Norman: You are not getting this. Looking like a guy who is slob in a dress is better. I can’t and don’t want to pretend I’m a woman. I want to look like a guy in a dress. If I go in wearing normal guy clothes, then they will pretend that they don’t know my approximate age and then they will decline me saying I’m “just not right for the job.” This is the counter attack. They won’t be able to pretend that they can’t tell that I’m a guy in a dress and they will feel the threat of a potential discrimination lawsuit. And then they will hire me. That’s the whole idea. I want to scare them into hiring me.
Phil smiles.
Phil: I think that may work. God speed.
More Chapters to come
The full paper and e-book versions of Incognito can be purchased on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DS2V41K4